Faulbaer's Schlafmulde
1452 articles

three months and counting

it's funny really how everything turns out sometimes. a year ago I thought I had experienced a painful relationship of some sort and even felt like calling this love but now I have to find out that whatever that might have been it was nothing compared to real love.

it's not about the butterflies - not about being separated - not about the fun and not about the pain.

what it is about - to me at least - is how close I feel to her, the way I know I can trust her with all my heart. the way she never gets annoying or "to much" even after days spent in the same room. I don't think I'm explaining this well but the way it used to be before is ... well ... a lot different.

in the past I tended to become fed up with people, became bored and annoyed with people quite quickly. open end visits took as long as up to eight hours tops but then one of us had to leave. timed visits could go on for a bit longer if I could tell when those would end. I don't know if this is imaginable to you but this is still the case. people still get on my nerves after a relatively short amount of time ... everybody but my dear beloved wife that is. of her I cannot get enough.

time flies while we are together. I'm still waiting for this to end in a way because I cannot believe this is really happening. the way it looks like, though, I won't hold my breath. so far it doesn't feel as if this was going to end any time soon - let's hope for it!

due to a business meeting we are now separated for some days. that's ok as whenever I think of her besides the feeling of being a bit lonely there is this undefined warm fuzziness that makes me smile. the next thing then is to text or to write something or just to anticipate my return and then to hold her in my arms again and become whole.

I don't know why exactly I'm writing about this here in my tech-and-rant blog ... I reckon it's mostly just to let you know that I'm well - I mean REALLY WELL - although you haven't heard much from me in the recent past. that said I'm going to go back to blogging about tech stuff again for the future, will keep the blog techie and rantie from now on. ten more posts, maybe twenty and this will all be forgotten.

I'm not sure about this because it would break certain rules I defined for this blog when I started it years ago but I might actually remove some of the past posts of make them less easily accessible. but as I said this has to be decided another day.

now I'm getting tired.

Faulbaer (sweet dreams coming up)

( tags :: , )
[ 2012.11.30, 00:26 :: thema: /english/love :: link zum artikel :: 0 Comments ]

philips hue: want!

about two months from now I'm going to buy the most expensive light bulbs I ever owned - except from projector bulbs and photography flashes maybe. it's overdue and I really do want philips hue!

Faulbaer (want want want want want …)

( tags :: , , , , , , )
[ 2012.11.09, 07:50 :: thema: /english/technology :: link zum artikel :: 0 Comments ]

selling stuff - who is interested?

I'm selling stuff:

- slightly defective Nikon D2x with accessories
- intact Nikon D200 with accessories
- 1st gen iPad, 64mb, Wifi+3G
- 3rd gen iPad, 64mb, Wifi+4G
- Mac Pro, 2x 2.8 GHz quad-core Intel Xeon with 10GB RAM
- huge stock of IKEA IVAR series furniture (slim line)
- various computer parts from the 80s, 90s and later
- defective Apple Mac Cube 450MHz with Apple 15" TFT display
- lots and lots of airsoft related uniforms and guns
- Nikon F5
- Nikon P7000
- Panasonic SDR-S10
- Nikon e-series 135/2.8 (MF)
- Nikon 18-70 AF-S
- Sigma 10-20 1:40-5.6 (AF, Nikon)
- Nikon SB25
- 2x Nikon SB27
- Nikon 18-105 AF-S
- Nikon 50/1.4 (MF)
- Nikon e-series 75-150/3.5 (MF)
- 2x Nikon SB24
- Panasonic NV-GS1
- Sigma 50-500 1:4-6.3 AP0 DG HSM D
- slightly defective but working Apple iBook 14"
- 1st gen Apple MacBook Air

I'll probably add more and links some time in the future.

Faulbaer (gotta make room for new stuff!)

( tags :: , , , , , , , , , )
[ 2012.11.09, 07:17 :: thema: /english/consume :: link zum artikel :: 0 Comments ]

every once in a while I'll be amazed

yes, it's true, I fell deeply in love and now I've been married for about two months. so far this has been extremely exciting - lots and lots of memories I want to keep forever and so many moments I which left me in total amazement. The experience has been so great I'm considering to start blogging again.

I'm still madly in love and all butterflies. the great thing about being married for me is to have access to my wife almost twenty-four-seven. ok - I had that with the cats, too but here it is different. I never believed something like this could work for me but boy was I in for a surprise!

what I couldn't expect was how attached I became but without the general annoyance people tended to cause me after some hours of being close - this feeling is gone entirely - at least regarding my wife. we can and actually we do spend not hours but days and weeks close to each other without as much as being unnerved by one another. time flies and even after a week together none of us can leave the other for long before we start missing each other a lot again. then we usually start texting like teenagers. I'm fairly certain this won't last in the same intensity forever but so far I cannot see this feeling to become weaker. we'll enjoy this as long as it lasts. in the meantime we shall look for a bigger apartment for the next phase.

relations between our newly wed families turned out quite warm and welcoming. I love her parents and they seem to be fond of me - just imagine how great it is to be able to just double the amount of loving parents you have.

since my wife moved into my studio we have been looking for a bigger but quieter place. in Bonn this has been challenging but we won't give up hope just yet. we are considering other cites like FRA, CGN or DUS as further options, DUS being the favourite at the moment but Bonn is not yet off the table.

so there you are, the rumours were true - I've been happily married since August 23rd around 3:15pm. We are also considering a white wedding at the same date either next year or more likely the year after. to me being an agnostic this is more for show but I loved the white weddings I had the honour of being the photographer for. friends and family shall expect an invitation early that year.

Faulbaer (never given up on finding true love: success!)

( tags :: , , , , , , , )
[ 2012.11.08, 12:10 :: thema: /english/love :: link zum artikel :: 0 Comments ]

all you need is ...

just about another half year has passed and all I can say is "happy happy joy joy!"

Faulbaer (love)

( tags :: )
[ 2012.07.17, 07:23 :: thema: /english/love :: link zum artikel :: 0 Comments ]

mental notes from today's shooting

did an exciting outdoor model shooting in duesseldorf together with @dominik today. after reviewing most of the images and while shooting I made some mental notes for similar events in the future. since I cannot seem to remember anything important I decided to put those notes into my near-dead weblog for later. I reckon I will have forgotten about these by the time I need them for the next shooting. story of my life.

• a second flash was a good idea as the first died seconds after the batteries were in
• insert batteries before you leave
• check equipment on packing, check charges
• umbrellas were a bad idea, a bigger sunbounce reflector might be a good idea
• light stands were a stupid idea
• a grey card doesn't make sense at all
• the light meter could have been a good idea if I had more assistants
• the ct gels could have worked if I had used any
• the tripod was a good idea for some of the shots - need a better ball-head
• should have used the eye-fi/ipad combo while shooting
• need a manfrotto arm to attach the flash to the sunbounce
• a backup with a 28-70/2.8 kind of lens might have been nice

well - so far with the notes. I might add some things after further editing the images.

Faulbaer ("Alter Bär!")

( tags :: , , , )
[ 2011.12.19, 00:44 :: thema: /english/photography :: link zum artikel :: 0 Comments ]



amazone (noun)

the mental zone in which you find yourself the very millisecond after you one-click bought something you absolutely positively don't need ever. (an order which in fact you will be too proud to cancel afterwards, though)

example: I was well in my amazone after buying that pink five-star-rated vacuum cleaner scrub I probably won't ever use.

amazoned (adjective)

the mixed feeling of guilt and excitement you have right after buying something you probably wouldn't have bought if it weren't so easy.

example: just ordered all six fast and furious movies on blu-ray in 3d including a blu-ray player - now I'm feeling slightly amazoned: the tracking says it will arrive tomorrow!

</irony> (you know it's irony if there are tags, right?)

( tags :: , , , , )
[ 2011.09.10, 17:16 :: thema: /english :: link zum artikel :: 0 Comments ]

considerations, projects and distractions

there you go, I'm back! all in all spent about half a year to figure it all out but hey - some things take time.

I'm working on a bunch of new projects, relaxed body hacking being one of them. kissed some great friends good-bye but made some awesome new friends along my way. made huge progress in some areas but baby steps in others. still defining my current position in nerd-culture and nerd-relations, understanding our versus my boundaries. made some decisions and moves, now working with the results. hell I'm good! I'm ready for the next level, bring it on!

to keep myself on the edge I decided to start into a three-sixty-five photography project that @icedsoul had suggested. every day since june first I have taken a photo of me resulting in a tumblr-blog (Fashion Agnostics Unite - FAgU) featuring eighty-two photos of me wearing that day's clothes. so far resonance ranged between mild confusion and polite interest. some of my facebook fans stated they were even expecting a new shot every day. I received tips and critique which kept me going. this started out as a fun project and I will keep it that way. maybe I'll add some affiliation links but I'm not expecting to get bloody rich with this little blog.

having celebrated (yes, me, I really did it for once) my thirty-sixth birthday this year I felt like I had to get in shape. I used to be very sporty in my pre-computer era and I'm getting back there - at least to a reasonable point. I've been working out and swimming regularly for the past two months. I rarely went off track and I can feel how it is doing me some good. I lost weight although I wouldn't say it's been that dramatic yet but I gained strength and determination. I'm feeling much better in my body than I used to some months ago and that's gotta count for something, right? I'm not sure what the next steps should be. past week I started working with weights and other free exercises - this is keeping me busy for the moment. for the time being the pool is closed for renovations.

as you may have gathered from my previous post I went through some rough times, made some fairly new experiences and although not everything I learned qualifies as pleasant I wouldn't want to have missed any of it. I learned so much about people, relationships and about me, I couldn't have imagined. I'm not only thankful, I even want more! ... and guess what, I already got more! I spent some time around very positive people if not friends over the past few months who turned out to be realistic, open minded positive thinkers eager to experience life at the fullest making their way amongst their families, friends and colleagues. I enjoyed this a lot and I still think this is the way to go and those are the people I want to be around. I'm very fond of those becoming more and more aware of all the beauty around us all the awesome things we can take part in, the constant stream of win. so this is all developing well and interestingly. I had to let some people go - if not in real life then at least in my mind. I lost some people who I would consider to be either negative or stagnating in their lives. this is only natural and doesn't mean for ever and ever but at the moment we're all better off looking at other options. I've never been particularly good at watching people hurting themselves or harm people around me - it's just not my thing. lately I've been starting to feel much closer to creativity and production than to destruction or negativity. I like to have people around me sharing this.

I'm also growing apart from local chaos, the CCC, politics and the people and groups involved. this has been happening for years now and I realized this before and again and again. I wouldn't consider this a bad thing just cannot shake the feeling of betraying my family in a way. because that is what hacker culture used to be for me - the second family I loved dearly. I always felt protected and loved back - no matter how silly and angry a child I used to be, I always felt welcome and tolerated if not accepted in what I did. growing apart from this family is like emancipating myself, is like growing up. as with my real-life family this distance will proof to even strengthen our relationship but for now I will have to walk my own path for a while. I've been doing that for years now - just took me some time to realize it.

all in all this is very positive. I've been in a very good mood for months now - with only some minor distractions here and there. I hadn't been that happy and healthy and optimistic over months for a very long time and I keep enjoying it. I'm very thankful and gracious towards those who made the past twelve months such a fun ride and such a great experience. this goes to everyone, not only the ones I kept but also the ones I lost along the way. thank you!

Faulbaer (stay sharp!)

( tags :: , , , , , , , , )
[ 2011.08.22, 12:49 :: thema: /english/joy :: link zum artikel :: 0 Comments ]
mario cart wii

25C3, aperture, apple, apps, arbeit, arbyte, bef, berlin, beta, bett, bonn, canon, ccc, chaos communications congress, debian, deutschland, diy, dns, do it yourself, drobo, em, em 2008, embedded, english, essen, fail, flagge, food, fotografie, fussball, german, hacking, internet, ipad, iphone, job, joy, kochen, koeln, konsum, kueche, kvm, london, love, mac mini, macbook air, meinblog, mobile, mobile phone, o2, palm, palm pre, photography, piraten, pre, raid, rant, ranz, saegen, schwimmen, server, smartphone, spielzeug, sport, teuer, translation, uk, updates, vertrag, virtualization, waschen, wochenende, wohnen, workout, wucher, xen, zimbra

angelos widmung johls signatur Malte Fukami nonocat by nonograffix bob
Politiker-Stopp - Diese Seite ist gesch├╝tzt vor Internet-Ausdruckern.
Erdstrahlenfreie Webseite mit Hochbürder Zertifikat

1452 articles