Faulbaer's Schlafmulde :: english :: joy
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http://jm.tosses.info

considerations, projects and distractions

there you go, I'm back! all in all spent about half a year to figure it all out but hey - some things take time.

I'm working on a bunch of new projects, relaxed body hacking being one of them. kissed some great friends good-bye but made some awesome new friends along my way. made huge progress in some areas but baby steps in others. still defining my current position in nerd-culture and nerd-relations, understanding our versus my boundaries. made some decisions and moves, now working with the results. hell I'm good! I'm ready for the next level, bring it on!

to keep myself on the edge I decided to start into a three-sixty-five photography project that @icedsoul had suggested. every day since june first I have taken a photo of me resulting in a tumblr-blog (Fashion Agnostics Unite - FAgU) featuring eighty-two photos of me wearing that day's clothes. so far resonance ranged between mild confusion and polite interest. some of my facebook fans stated they were even expecting a new shot every day. I received tips and critique which kept me going. this started out as a fun project and I will keep it that way. maybe I'll add some affiliation links but I'm not expecting to get bloody rich with this little blog.

having celebrated (yes, me, I really did it for once) my thirty-sixth birthday this year I felt like I had to get in shape. I used to be very sporty in my pre-computer era and I'm getting back there - at least to a reasonable point. I've been working out and swimming regularly for the past two months. I rarely went off track and I can feel how it is doing me some good. I lost weight although I wouldn't say it's been that dramatic yet but I gained strength and determination. I'm feeling much better in my body than I used to some months ago and that's gotta count for something, right? I'm not sure what the next steps should be. past week I started working with weights and other free exercises - this is keeping me busy for the moment. for the time being the pool is closed for renovations.

as you may have gathered from my previous post I went through some rough times, made some fairly new experiences and although not everything I learned qualifies as pleasant I wouldn't want to have missed any of it. I learned so much about people, relationships and about me, I couldn't have imagined. I'm not only thankful, I even want more! ... and guess what, I already got more! I spent some time around very positive people if not friends over the past few months who turned out to be realistic, open minded positive thinkers eager to experience life at the fullest making their way amongst their families, friends and colleagues. I enjoyed this a lot and I still think this is the way to go and those are the people I want to be around. I'm very fond of those becoming more and more aware of all the beauty around us all the awesome things we can take part in, the constant stream of win. so this is all developing well and interestingly. I had to let some people go - if not in real life then at least in my mind. I lost some people who I would consider to be either negative or stagnating in their lives. this is only natural and doesn't mean for ever and ever but at the moment we're all better off looking at other options. I've never been particularly good at watching people hurting themselves or harm people around me - it's just not my thing. lately I've been starting to feel much closer to creativity and production than to destruction or negativity. I like to have people around me sharing this.

I'm also growing apart from local chaos, the CCC, politics and the people and groups involved. this has been happening for years now and I realized this before and again and again. I wouldn't consider this a bad thing just cannot shake the feeling of betraying my family in a way. because that is what hacker culture used to be for me - the second family I loved dearly. I always felt protected and loved back - no matter how silly and angry a child I used to be, I always felt welcome and tolerated if not accepted in what I did. growing apart from this family is like emancipating myself, is like growing up. as with my real-life family this distance will proof to even strengthen our relationship but for now I will have to walk my own path for a while. I've been doing that for years now - just took me some time to realize it.

all in all this is very positive. I've been in a very good mood for months now - with only some minor distractions here and there. I hadn't been that happy and healthy and optimistic over months for a very long time and I keep enjoying it. I'm very thankful and gracious towards those who made the past twelve months such a fun ride and such a great experience. this goes to everyone, not only the ones I kept but also the ones I lost along the way. thank you!

Faulbaer (stay sharp!)

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[ 2011.08.22, 12:49 :: thema: /english/joy :: link zum artikel :: 0 Comments ]
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